Tales of Idols and Trust
I want to vent some personal revelations: You see, I have realized that my relationship with God is a lie. I only worship him when I am not worshiping cigarettes. He is a secondary God. He is a god that I am only aware of when I am not praying to the god of nicotine. I have realized that I don't trust God because I didn' t trust my father. This is because I thought that he was never there to warrant that trust. But no human father is capable of absolute trust. Inevitably, they will all let us down.. our expectations of them can be anywhere from low to superhuman, and no man can live up to them. And I haven't spent time trusting God, allowing him to work - to come through, like the "just in time" God that he is. It's hard when you've been a Christian for 20 years and you figure out you have been worshiping another god: a drug. I pray to this God upon waking in the morning, several times during the day, at meals, and to put me to bed ...