The Cycle of Relationship
There is an Imago concept that we repeat our relationships until we learn from them. This is true of unhealthy relationships: it is the dynamic that we repeat. It reminds me somewhat of the Hindu concept of reincarnation: we repeat our lives, sometimes in the form of other living things, until we learn to do something different. I think it is true in families as well. In my family, there is a long history of divorce. My father and mother were divorced. It affected me deeply as my father left when I was 5. I don't want to do the same to my daughter or my wife. But there are some things about the dynamics with my wife that are hard on both of us. If unchecked, if we don't learn from them, they could eventually lead to divorce. My dad smoked his whole life, I think, to deal with interpersonal dynamics that repeated with my mother and his mother: much like the ones my wife and I deal with. There is a saying that men marry their mothers and women tend to marry their f