Spirit Gives Birth To Spirit

    When I was younger, I fell in and out of love with girls from high school through college and into my late 20's.  But it wasn’t love. When the initial exciting honeymoon period faded, I dropped the relationship like a bad habit. As soon as there was conflict or I saw something I didn’t like, I headed for the door.  And I was happy to be free again.  Until I realized I was lonely again, and started searching for someone else.  Finally in my late 20's, I stopped looking.  The minute I stopped looking, I was confronted with the young man in the mirror.  I didn't like what I saw. But I knew there was some good in me: I knew there was something of value. I had been writing poetry since I was in middle school.  I started to see myself poured out on those pages.  I looked at myself in depth.  I could see how I saw the world.  I wrote my feelings into concrete form.  I saw them on the page and I could see myself on the ...

     My dog died a week ago on a Monday.  It left this incredible hole in me.  I have spent hours on end sitting at the gas station chain smoking, trying to fill the hole. But this hole is much bigger than my dog.  When I got Izzy as a lonely bachelor of 29, I really had no concept of what love really was.  I cared for this little Australian Cattle Dog mix and she soon taught me to get outside of myself.  She showed true unconditional love for me, as I am, not as she would have me be, and we went through repeated hard times together as I struggled with an illness that has dogged me since I was seventeen.  She stood by me when other people couldn’t and in everything she did, she just wanted to please me.  Dogs all want a job to do.  Her job became to support me emotionally - to always be there at my feet to pet.  And to clean up after my sloppy eating.  (She loved both parts of her job equally.)  But it has dawned on m...