A Circular Journey and its Lesson
The sum total of the countless uncanny coincidences solidifies into belief when I first open myself up to the possibility that there is someone or something that could orchestrate them. Honest searching begins with an open mind.
I had no belief until I let myself honestly contemplate the possibility. When I did that over time, just a simple step led to a walk of faith. And faith matured into trust when applied to circumstances over which I had no control. And for me, giving up control, in trust, leads to sweet serenity. The more I fall into this, the more I rely on an external source for my well being and find things work out for me, the more my trust increases and so does my serenity. The two feed each other.
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| The "invisible" bridge |
almost reached his prize, the hero comes to an impossible chasm. But his research into the scriptures and ancient writings tells him that if he steps out over it, he will be held up. To save his father's life (sometimes a desperate incentive is the only motivation that will work), he puts his foot out over the void, then swallows hard, closes his eyes and shifts his weight forward into what looks like certain doom. His foot falls on an invisible bridge and he steps onto it. Looking down at this new angle, he realizes the stone bridge beneath him is made of the same rock as the walls of the chasm, and it is carefully matched up to the fishers and markings on the far side of the chasm. From the safety of the sidelines. it is hidden. That first step is made in faith. Finding, from every step in faith, that I am held up leads me to trust.
But repeatedly in my journey, because of the way I am wired, I return to a place where I question all that I think I know, if there is a god, even who I am. I believe this "questioning everything" happens with the subtle shift in the chemicals in the brain that give all of us our personalities, hopes, desires and dreams. When my chemicals shift, I find myself at ground zero of faith. Stripped of all belief save a few elemental core notions, I consider the basic elements of what I have accepted. In this, I always come back to a simple fact: I believe at my core, that creation is too complex, too wonderful, too intimately interdependent and well designed to have come about without an intelligence guiding it. This intelligence is God for me. He (or she) is my chosen object of worship, because I have found him in Christianity and I have accepted that the only correct response to this belief is a posture of worship. But every circular iteration of this path leads me into deeper knowledge of my self and my place in existence.
I wouldn't say that this circular path is the best path for everyone. But it is my path. And every loop on the path gives lessons on how to relate to people at all the various stages In their journey. After all, there is no one who can lend a shoulder to another man's burden, like one who has been there himself. And in Christianity I am given the reserves to lighten other people's burdens because when I tap into it by spending time with God, I find that I have access to an infinite reservoir of love. It comes from God's infinite reservoir of love for me. Apart from God, my reservoir soon dries up and I have no love to give to others. I become angry, selfish, even stressed and depressed. But as soon as I set aside quality time with him, praying, soaking in his beautiful presence with my music on, reading, studying, consuming scripture, I am filled with love for others. Simultaneously, I am given the strength and energy to walk it out, in small and large ways. Then, to top it off, He orchestrates my actions done in love so they impact other people at their core, right when they need it. It is the motive, opportunity, and divine assistance to affect the world positively, one person at a time. Christianity is a wonderful and complex belief system, but at its core it is very simple: it is a walk of trust into selfless love, because Jesus first showed it to us.
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