The Deep

It is not light shining in darkness

That has brought me to weep.

But the darkness itself

In which I used to sleep.

In a fathomless black cloud

Floating adrift, inside.

Wrapped in a shroud

Utterly mystified.

Falling down again and again

Against the current of knowing

Far from its peace to gain

An invisible river overflowing.

Pity my soul divided

Between wrong and worse

And not knowing how one-sided

Was my angry curse:

"You don't exist", I screamed.

Into the blackness I bellowed.

In return the light beamed,

But the bitter pill, I swallowed.

Unaware of my state, I fell deep

Into the confusion of man

And troubled at night, I could not sleep

And on and on it ran.

So were my teens -

So close to being my whole life

So lost in the in-betweens

And riddled sick with strife.

But the greatest miracle happened

I plunged so deep into darkness,

Into the pit of the heart without end

As the mockers, they picked my carcass...

And there a gentle light dawned on my brow

And imperceptibly low inside

That grew, over years, until now:

Endless beautiful heaven, open wide.