The Metaphysics of Listening

     I am going to delve into some metaphysics to make a point.  "I exist" and "nobody cares" are two opposite poles on a filament that determines human "being." If someone proclaims "I exist!" and they come believe nobody cares, then they will in fact, cease to exist.  I am not speaking metaphorically.  They will literally die either by their own hand or by through a painful and sometimes slow process of self neglect.  Every human being is at some point on this continuum at this very moment.  Every human being that has ever lived, too, falls on this continuum.  If one person remembers in some way that a person lived at some point in history, then that person existed.  If no one remembers, it is as if they never did. If nobody cares, it doesn't matter that a person existed (past tense) - because they have ceased to be.

     Reach out to other people.  You may be the only reason someone is here.  It sounds like a philosophical exercise but there is a concrete application: people want someone to listen and pay attention to them.  I know this from my experience as a lay chaplain and a Stephen Minister and from my time on the prayer team at church. People want you to spend the time to make them feel like they matter.

     I read an article recently about what you can do as a bystander when you see someone of a minority being harassed.  It suggested to go sit next to them, ignore the attacker, and engage the victim in small talk.  The two of you, while paying attention to each other, will ignore the attacker.  And he will simply give up and walk away. It could save their life. This is the power of listening and paying attention to someone.

     I have noticed from my time as a lay chaplain and a Stephen Minister, that people just want someone to listen to them.  Especially people that are hurting or in trouble in their lives. It makes them feel like they matter to someone.  They exist in the consciousness of someone else.  You could be a stranger or their best friend.  It doesn't matter. Time and again in my experience, this is the key thing people want from you.  When I visit someone in the hospital, they just want someone to tell their problems to.  And someone to listen to what is important to them.  You don't have to have any special training.  Just listen without trying to fix their situation.  Practice "active listening" where you hear what they say and repeat it back to them to say "I hear this from you."  And asking them probing questions about what they have shared.

     Jesus actively listened to Nicodemus on the rooftop in the evening.  He paid attention to Zaccheus and invited himself over to dinner where he would have listened to him.  He listened to the woman caught in adultery and it saved her life.  He listened to the woman at the well.  I think this is no less than Jesus in you, giving the living water to the people you meet.

     It is so incredibly healing for that person.  And I find it is healing for me too.  The person I am listening to feels so much better, and I get a boost as well.

     So practice active listening.  It can make all the difference in someone's life today.  It doesn't require any special skills or a degree in psychology. It doesn't require any special apparatus or implements.  All it requires is you.  It is something human beings naturally know how to do.  But the more you practice it, the better you will get at it.  And the more you do it, the more of a difference you will make in other people's lives.  The more we listen the more life we give.