What If Infinity Was Not a Concept, But A Reality Written On Our Hearts?

     "I don't really understand myself, for l I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate," Paul famously says in Romans.  He goes on to talk about how his sin is uncovered by the Law (the regulations in the Jewish scriptures), but all the Law can do is show us our sin.  We cannot, by force of will, always do what is right on our own.  But if we live in the Kingdom of God our hearts are changed and we begin to seek out what is right in the freedom that it provides.  It is a gentle process, and it takes a long time - a lifetime. We are not used to this sort of slow change in our society, where all gratification must increasingly be instant. It goes against the grain. I really liken it to the theology of the Kingdom that is popular in my church - that the Kingdom is at once already here and not yet.  It is substantively present, but its realization is a process.

     This discrepancy is not a problem in the view of eternity.  Where time, I believe, is no boundary.
 All times, I believe, can exist at once to God in the Kingdom of Heaven.  He sees us in the present, but with the benefit of the entirety of our whole lives. Time, the fourth dimension, does not limit him or the Kingdom. All moments are present at once. 

      The Law is bound by time.  Under it, I am always asking, "how have I failed in the past," and "what sacrifices can I make in the future to atone for those things."  It points out our failures and so we must rein ourselves in for the future.  But the kingdom has infinite present moments and what is right to do at the moment is written on our hearts.  What would I do if my fellow human were suffering and I had infinite time and infinite resources in this moment?  Each moment is where the Kingdom resides.  And all the present moments that make up eternity.  It brings so much freedom when we live in it.

     The Kingdom - the kingdom that is among us now - has infinite resources and infinite time.  If someone stops me on my way to an engagement and needs money to get on the bus because her car has broken down, what would I do in that moment?  What would I do if time did not matter and I knew that if I gave her five dollars my five dollars would come back to me somehow?  Because the Kingdom of God does not live by the rules of scarcity that define our culture. If we take what we need and not what we want and give the rest away, there is always enough, If I give time or resources, those things will be returned to me from another.  That is the essence of faith.  Faith is trust. Trust that God will provide. And if we trust in God and his way of doing things, the way of life in the Kingdom of Heaven, we will behave differently.  We will live in the Kingdom now and perhaps for all of eternity.  Not because we punish ourselves for our wrongs and strive to do what we think God demands of us for the future.  But because in the moment, we are free.  Free of the limits of this world of scarcity - the world we know.  It is the world fallen man believes he lives in.  We are free to live in the Kingdom of God, right now.  And the more we live in the kingdom, the closer it comes to the present for the people around us (and to us as well).

     Everything I have learned about mindfulness and meditation supports this. But it is not just a new fad in Psychology - it is written into the scriptures that are over 2000 years old.  It is wisdom that lies dormant in us until it is awakened in our relationship with God. We can live in the Kingdom right here, right now, in this very moment. It frees us from the burden of self-criticism for past failures.  Those moments have passed.  What am I going to do this moment?  What is written on my heart by God?  How can I bring Heaven to Earth? This is what matters. This is where I want to live: this is where Jesus lives.

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