Moving Boulders

In my experience, it is the little, almost imperceptible choices and events that change us. Choices and events that lead us in our journey to becoming truly actualized spiritual beings.  Small choices in the present moments of life that bring us closer to who we were meant to be.  Who God created us to be.

     Someone explained it to me once like this.  Addictions and habits and ways of being that we want to be free of are like those huge boulders sitting on tall rock pedestals in the Southwestern desert.  You cannot, by force of will, move the boulder off its perch.  It is too massive.  But what you can do is widdle away at the pedestal.  Digging it out one rock at a time.  And before you know it (though it may take some time), the pedestal thins and the boulder falls.  You conquer it.  But in the Christian way of thinking, we do not do this alone.  God provides the moments and the small amount of strength required just for the moment.  Strength to make a different choice.  In 12 step, one looks for the "out" God provides in every situation, with every craving.  He provides these learning moments so that we will chose them of our free will and grow over time.

     For example, I chose to sit down and write the first part of this blog post instead of having a cigarette (or vape, actually).  It seems so insignificant, but what eventually comes from it over time seems like a miracle.  Over time, I can see my resistence improving.  I can see growth.  Often I smoke, as most do, in order to escape some feeling or situation.  If I chose not to smoke (or for you, however you escape or shut down) I am faced with my emotions or the situation without the benefit of my crutch.  I must learn to deal with it.  Luckily I can ask God for help.  These are always my most effective prayers.

     Change happens in increments, in these small moments.  But how do I recognize the moment?  I try my best to be mindful and live in and experience the moments in my day.  I try to practice what I know of mindfulness,though I am not very "good" at it yet,  I am learning. What I mean by that is I often don't have the thought to practice it in situations I come across - in those little moments of my day.  But I am improving.  If you aren't familiar with mindfulness, it is a very effective coping strategy that is championed by many health care providers and counselors. It is a pretty big thing in the field and it comes up over and over again.  I am even reading a book on pregnancy and it talks about mindful birthing.

     What is mindfulness?  It is living fully in the present moment.  Not getting distracted or controlled by emotions and thoughts, but instead noticing them nonjudgementally and letting them go. I have been practicing this and have noticed certain emotions and thought patterns coming up over and over again.  If I am distracted by them or if I automatically react to them through my actions, I lose the presence of mind to experience the moment.  I am not available to see the options open to me in that moment.  Options that God provides.  And I cannot make a level-headed decision that will lead me on my path of spiritual progress.

     I feel that always returning to Jesus is the way to learn.  Jesus was the most mindful being I am aware of.  Living eternally in the present moment.  Always having time for people.  Always chosing where he was going, what he was going to do next - consciously.  And he was the very scandal of heaven breaking into the present, into the lives of the people he touched.  He was unencumbered by his baggage from life, free to live as the Father intended.  Free to live in the way we can all live.  Isn't that amazing?  We are to be modern Jesus's.  Jesus said, you will do greater things than this when he performed miracles: "Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father."

     Can you imagine what the world would be like if everybody was like (or even better) than Jesus in their actions?  Truly heaven would be here.  I want to have a small part in that.  So I believe.  And I just moved a pebble.  Who knows where it will lead...