I was talking with my wife's father, a retired pastor, and he told me about an image he used in many of his sermons throughout the years. It is a thing that every kid learns on the monkey bars on the playground at school. It is simply this: when you are on the monkey bars, you can't move forward until you let the hand behind you let go of the last bar. In this way, I am kind of stuck in my life. The trailing monkey bar is my smoking cigarettes. I just haven't been able to let go of that bar no matter how hard I try. I believe that this bar gives me a lift. You see, I suffer from a chronic depression. When I go outside and have a smoke and a caffeinated beverage, I get a little boost to my mood. Often this gets me back on track and I start doing things besides laying in bed. I might do the dishes and I feel better about what I have accomplished. I might, being awake ...
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